Life is just a bunch of lights, sounds, and emotions.

In a world where we are all so connected with airplanes, high-speed trains, big cities, huge apartment buildings, neighborhood bars, co-working spaces, gyms, and online communities — why is it that we feel so alone?

I recently realized that life is just a collection of lights, sounds, and emotions until we die. (disclaimer: this perspective originated from my sister). However, it has stuck with me. And only YOU have experienced all of it on your own, by yourself. Now I know that sounds super nihilistic or depressing, but just hear me out!

I’ve spoken to so many people about this topic. Friends, family, and even random strangers on the subway, in search of my purpose during my time here on earth, but it turns out that not everyone sees it that way. I mean, nobody actually raised their hands and asked to be here, right? On top of that, weirdly enough, we as a society have created rules around how to be and what to do with our time on this floating rock. I’m not saying that it’s all a bad thing, but I've just realized that social programming is a real thing, and almost everyone unintentionally succumbs to it!

For me, I’ve been programmed to do hard things. Try and play professional soccer, go to Babson College — №1 school for Entrepreneurship, and lastly start a company. All things that I found really hard, but I’m glad I did in retrospect for the plot. When I say plot, I mean memories. Memories with new friends and old, new colleagues, new mentors, new experiences, and most importantly, new places. All in an attempt to learn and grow.

To do so, I’ve been living out of a suitcase since I was 14. First Germany, then England, Paris, Bronx — New York, Boston, Palo Alto — California, Austin — TX. All these places came with a new set of people, a new set of rules, a new culture, and so much more. While it was surely a privilege to be able to pursue my dreams, it didn’t come without its fair share of challenges. The challenge of being lonely.

Today, I write this blog from a new place — Jersey City. My new home. A more permanent place to call my own. I’ve looked forward to this day for a long time. Having my own space to express myself and not let the social programming get to me. I’ve run long enough trying to figure out what the world is. Now it’s time to build my version of what it could be.

Alone — but not afraid anymore.

Saranga Pagadala